Its Placements time in college. Everybody has suddenly become very serious and focused .
'Bhai Kaun kaun se Company aa rhi hai?'
'Arey Koi date to Batao'
'Confirm nahi to Tentative Batao'
'Abey Tu Saley Bus Apna Karwayega'
'Question paper forward kar Mere ko'
'Abey Interview me kya kya puchenge'
Place Com is Bombarded wid all sorts of questions. and They are smart enuff to duck the bouncers 'Ask TPO, ask Director sir'
Suddenly Everybody wants to attend the Guest Lectures.
Everyone has taken a vow to toil real hard in the small break. With an MBA gyaan of our standards, i'll have to slog real hard and leave no stone unturned to get a job.When Friends around start getting placed..tension starts mounting. This can be seen on the faces of many. :)
Here is a snapshot of a interview i faced last week.There were three members in the panel. One south Indian senior Friendly Looking Guy,One Suited Buited Serious Looking Young guy and a Alumni of our college
“Good Evening, sir. Good Evening, sir.”
“Good evening (almost in chorus).”
“Take your seat, Manu.”(serious looking guy)
“Thank you.”
Interview starts off wid a routine question.
“So Manu. Tell me someting about yourself?”
“Blah Blah”
“What are your hobbies”
CONFUSED...kya kahu
"Sir I Like Blogging, Playing Cricket, Reading Novels"
"Do u Like Reading"
"Sir I am not a Voracious Reader...but have read a few novels"
"What all Novels have you read ?"
More Confusd...Cacha Chaudhary,Dhruv,Nagraj ke alawa kuch padha kaha hai
"Sir i've read a few novels of Chetan Bhagat, Shidney Sheldon, John Grisham Fiction Autobiography "
"What is your area of interest"
"Sir IT"
"Then why have you applied for this position. you may be working with clients who have absoloutely no relation with IT"
"Blah Blah Blah"
"But why? You said your area of interest is IT. Try for something of your area of interest"
"Sir when i said IT is my area of interest this dosen't means i don't have other areas of interest"
Senior looking guy starts Smiling...
"Why are you so passionate about this job considering it is not related to your previous IT EXPERIENCE"
“No sir, Not at all.i Think my previous experience will help me here because at the end of the day its business and all the business have a very simple agenda sell your product and earn profit. so my knowledge should be helpful"
"I am Not Convinced...Convince me"
More Confused
"Sir being a part of business at one time i know how it exactly workk. selling is very imporant"
Seniors looking guy cuts me short
"Then you should have applied for sales...!!! "
"Sir Being a introvert Selling is not my forte. I cannot convince people to do something?"
"You being a introvert...don you think it wud be difficult for u considering job responsbilities expect you to interact with clients"
Baap Re- Kaha Phas Gya mai
"Sir Being a Introvert i mean, if required i will do that. When i came here in college i was a big introvert but slowly i have changed myself according to the environment and the need"
Tell me something about your Previous Work experience
"Blah Blah Blah"
"Do u Know Marketing?"
"Yes Sir...Blah Blah Blah"
"Do you know Strategic Marketing?"
"Blah Blah Blah" + what Shahrukh khan is doing for the movie Raone is marketing
(biggest mistake i made..from here on Raone took over the interview)
"What is SRK doing?"
"Sir Selling. marketing his product on different platforms + blah blah blah"
"Convince me why i shud watch Raone...if you are marketing it"
Hey bhagwaan kaha phas gya mai yeh
"Sir i'll get u cold drinks , i'll buy you tickets for the movie"
Serious looking guy starts smiling
"Why does a vada paav thela dosen't needs marketing...they still sell like hot cakes"
I finally decided to act smart here
"Sir who says they don needs marketing...Joshi Vada Paav is a brand name here...they sell more than a average thela wala vada paav"
"OK. How has Joshi Vada Paav Marketed themselves. I don't see there posters and banners in he city"
Yeh apne Bichaay Jaal me hi Phas gya mai to
"Blah Blah Blah"
"This is Not convincing"
"Sir when i came to Pune they were already a brand. so may be i don't know there marketing startagey"
Guilty Finally Pleaded for Mercy
I was sweating with Tension"
"Are you feeling all right. you look tensed"
"No sir i am fine. thank you"
"What is SPM"
"Blah Blah Blah"
"Give estimation Techniques"
"Blah Blah Blah"
"What is Functional Point Analysis"
"Blah Blah Blah"
"What is BCG Matrix"
Yaar Suna to tha yeh...yaad nahi aa rha hai
"Sir i've heard the name but i don't remember it right now"
All of a sudden Raone comes back :)
Senior looking guy asks me
"Convince me why i should watch hindi movies"
"Blah Blah Blah"
"Sir you have Rajnikanth..we have SRK Aamir Amitabh here"
"We don't only have rajnikanth"
"Sir mamooty is also there is kannada"
"Mammooty is Malyalam"
My Lack of knowledge of films and geography of india is completely exposed
"Have you been to Chennai?"
"No Sir...but i've heard its a nice place"
"Its HOT"
"No Sir...Its HUMID"
Lady starts smiling...
Then routine questions were asked...
Atomsphere in the room is more friendly now...everybody is smiling
Interview goes on for the next 30 mins. Needless to say it was a disaster.
But Experience was good.
Things that i have learnt from this interview:
1) Don't try to act oversmart with the panel. They are smarter.
2) Never bring Raone In Between
3) Apply deo before u enter...in case u start sweating.
4) Never Fail to demonstrate enthusiasm if you are not then fake it.
5) Always stick to your guns.
6) Never Fail to remember what you wrote on your own resume.
Hoping Post Diwali some good news comes. Happy Diwali to everyone.
