Confessions of an Average Facebook User

I was reading an article somwhere in TOI .
The highest population in 2058 will be in
India ( Yay !!)
China
Facebook ( Clap Clap )


Life In Facebook is exciting indeed, however thanks to some people it has become more of Exhausting than Exciting..


These are just few aspects which really piss me off every single time, the extent of being pissed off can't be expressed in words...i feel like abducting the person,torturibg him/her the way he/she has been harassing me with his/her status messages and them amputating him/her.
Let me give u a insight into what goes into the great mind of a average facebook user


1) Those who put Ultra-sentimental status messages(SM) every now and then:
You must have surely come across some SMs( and have posted those SMs on your wall) like. "I am broke and the one who broke it can only fix it" or "tears from my eyes in which she gazed once".


Yawn !!! (I know its not polite but atleast its honest)


All I can say is, get a life(or atleast, spare mine),
 Just imagine, even,in the days of deepest gloom and despair, they don't forget to google "emotional/sentimental quotes" , and then Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V directly to their respective SM boxes.


2. Those who alway cry


OMG, I am badly fucked, my life sucks etc etc.


Serious suggestion: why just dont you jump from the 27th floor of any building and see what happens. you can always share your views thereafter at your very own comunity "mylifesucks@wesuck.com"


3. Those who use excessive high sounding english words in their SMs


Yeah, I am talking about those who write "scintillating,scintillating asteriod minim" instead of twinke, twinke little star as their SMs


Brother try your hands at GRE not on FB. apart from that, I sincerely hope that you screw these exams so badly that forget STANFORD, even SARLA BAI INSTITUE OF CERTIFIED SUCKERS deny you a degree.These guys deserve the standing ovation of my middle finger.


4. Those who keep optimistic SMs no matter what.


No matter whether they failed in 2 out of 5 exams or got 27.24%ile in CAT, their SMs will still be something like
"someday sun wil shine just for me and i will rule the world"
(ok ok, got it, you are talking about the DAY when India will win the WC football defeating BRAZIL 10-0)
or some thing like"I am just waiting for the right time and right place"
(Sure...Cya, next millenium on planet jupiter)


5. FB Application users. 
( Prayer time: Dear god, please confer me the golden oppurtunity of hanging these guys till death so that my soul can rest in peace)


a)Worst is DAILY HOROSCOPE Every morning, when I sign in my FB account, the 1st thing is their horoscope only.These people should be buried 11 feet under the ground ALIVE and while burring them, their daily horoscopes should be read loudly.



b)"XYZ has new answers to unlock" application. 
When you unlock these "do or die" rated questions, you will come across questions like
a. do you think XYZ should do laundry more often.
b. do you think XYZ should wear tight clothes.
c. do you think XYZ has a funny looking nose.
etc etc.....( 15-20 Qs like these)
I am damn sure, none of XYZ, me or you or, as a matter of fact, even the Aborigines of Western Australia are anyhow bothered about it.
What for these guys, well, nothing special, just rub their skin with sandpaper and then soak them in lemon juice.In between pull out their body hairs with a rusted pair of tweesers followed by fingernails and toenails. in the end burn them they are the real messangers of SATAN.


c) "How true is your love" application, when I played this game( or whatever it is), i got 98% (career best performance).I was smiling sheepishly coz it was true
30% for gargi
20% for neha 
35% for swati
13% for shruti
When I was a kid my mom use to tell me that there will one such beautiful day when someone very special will land up in your empty heart and will make your life worth living.But this smile was short lived coz when girls play the same game( or whatever it is) and get the same score, they also smile sheepishly as it is true for them also
30% from vineet
20% from sonu 
35% from Rajesh 
13% from anil
"please note that dese days, vineet, sonu, rajesh,anil can be replaced by vineeta,sonia, rajeshwari and anita also.....changing times u see"


and by the way,what role i play in Facebook...well...i am just a facebook stalker who is 24*7 hours online, rarely comes up with any updates but keep himself abreast with all the updates around.In short, Active Nonparticipating Facebook user...

Sinfully Single !

Draped in my favourite Black Tee and faded jeans, Put on my favourite Deo,combed my hairs 45th time and checked myself again in front of the mirror for one last time. Rating myself 20 on 10, I eventually geared myself up to meet the fairy of my dreamland *******( Keep on Guessing )

Was waiting for her near Baristaa , with a “U R THE ONLY ONE FOR ME” card and few Ferraro Rocher chocolates. It’s been the 10 minutes of sheer excitement and desperation with lot of things going across my mind (typical guy I am, Supremely Nervous yet excited ).

Anyways, she finally arrived and did I mention how gorgeous she looked. She was wearing those ultra simple Salwar Kurta with her hairs flowing in tandem with each of her steps. She reminded me of those classic khajuraho sculpture whch they show in movies .

She came closer to me, said, you are so cute and brushed a kiss on my cheeks. Thereafter I took her to one of the coziest (and costliest) of the restaurants to have our candle light dinner.....

blah blah blah blah

Yes u got it, its has never been my story but this has been the story I have watching a lot around these days. Sometimes it’s so frustrating to see this that I feel like joining Bajrang Dal or Shivsena and then do all those patak patak kar pitaai to all those new bees

Well my story is like yours. I am single and probably romantically challenged. My story has been of a guy who is standing in the platform of a railway station where lot many trains arrive and go. Though I am quite choosy about the peculiar train I am looking for, I must say whenever I choose a train that train always gives me a waitlisted status which never gets confirmed in due course of time. Sometimes there have been circumstances when I just felt that this time it may get confirm, but then suddenly in the last moment some guy with VIP quota grabs my seat. Worst is the Taltkal ticket holders, who come to the station the very last moment, make extra investments that you can’t afford and then swipe your seat just below your feet. In  a way trains never come on the platform we stand on.

However, being single is not that bad. It has its own perks...Whenever I see a new train coming, more elegant and blissful, I feel glad that I didn’t take the last train. Adding to that, it feels good that still, all the trains are equally available to me. Needless to mention, these days passengers and trains are changing each other so frequently that you just don’t know that when you are going to hit the jackpot.

But since this is life and my train is like super late (probably derailed), I have decided that I will check out all the trains that are coming across. I will also fix my eyes on following facts :

1. Which passenger gets which train 

2. Which train is carrying more than ne passenger at one time with both the passengers unaware of each other

3. Will do a SWOT Analysis

4. Which passengers have more than one confirmed seat and which seat they finally take?

PS: what a crap .... Happy Bachelor Life ! 

DDLJ Revisited !

Life has been totally changed from 90s to till ... but that time was awesome. DDLJ is one movie that rekindles my old childhood memories  :)

Boy meets girl, sparks fly, love blossoms, parents disapprove but finally true love triumphs. 

very predictable plotline transformed into the magical "Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge.In a phenomenon that perhaps defies explanation

We all at some point of time do get NOSTALGIC over this particular movie.With Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol in the lead, a crackling script and the rolling hills of Switzerland competing with the green mustard fields of rural Punjab, DDLJ, as the film is referred to, is a landmark.

It discovered one of the most influential leading couple in Hindi cinema.

Shahrukh Khan's character has left all males wanting to be him and all girls wanting someone like him.

Thanks to SONY and other channels We still watch this movie from time to time.

 A timeless classic, that will probably never be repeated !!!

Mumbai's Monsoon Mondays

His eyes suddenly open...He is surprised by his own loneliness. It’s the same room that he has woken up in for the past four years, the dampness and the bubbles on the corner of wall and ceiling as familiar to him as his daily dabba meals. His eyes flutter to his left foot, looking for his old hawaai chappal. Then to the right, at the cosy bed. 

He gives up and gets up, ignoring the protesting knots in his back.

And at once he realizes. He hasn’t been woken by the sunlight, most unwelcome to owners of east-facing bedroom windows. It’s the sound that has woken him up. Clattering on the tin parapet that the people below insisted on putting up last December. It’s raining.

He steps up to the window and waits for his eyes to adjust to the waking world. A few seconds pass before he realizes that it’s coming down so fast and heavy that the gray around is not his sleepiness but water, sheer water.

For the briefest second, he begins a smile, thinking the earliest conscious thought that occurs to a Mumbaiker during heavy rain. NO OFFICE ... NO SCHOOL! But the smile stops before it reaches his cheek corners and he realizes there’s an important meeting later in the day and an early morning chat with the boss to prepare. How’s he going to get to work in this downpour? He’d better carry an extra set of formal clothes, one part of his brain is already whizzing. And his hands reach for the side-drawer, groping in the musty darkness for the plastic shield for his mobile phone, lest he forget to carry it later. Survival first is the metropolitan mantra.

He should probably leave early to provide for any delays. There’ll be plenty – traffic jams, pedestrian shouting, late trains, buses negotiating puddles. As he leaves the room, his fingers brush the switch panel, turning on the light, turning off the fan and the mosquito repellent plug-in. Mid-automation, he swirls around. Even through the downpour, he can tell, the window opposite is shut. Funny. He could have sworn, it was open last night. Maybe she got up when it started raining and shut it. Maybe it was always shut. Maybe…

The doorbell rings and he rushes out of the room, all thoughts fleeing instantly. 

The monsoon is here and so is Monday.

Dil Kya Chahta Hai !

Focused. Thats is one thing I am not. My friend says, I am focused. I wonder. 

I am a jack of all trades, I try doing something new every few days. Some days its cooking, other days its working out, some other days, its reading, someday its writing, other days singing. And so much more. I am fond of doing many things. But I don't focus on a particular thing. Nothing.

I loose interest easily. That makes me a great explorer but it hampers me mastering anything. 

Except the Masters Degree I have. That too I guess has gone for toss. 

My mom said, 'education, you can never forget'. Somehow, I found out I have forgotten the subject I topped the University in. I couldn't recall solving simple sums. Yes, sums. Lack of practice may be. or Focus lost. 

I wronged my whole base of my academic life. I never crammed. I believed in understanding concepts- theory or practical. But I just couldn't recall the simple solutions of simple problems. And they felt like playing LUDO when I was the student.

There is no focus. May be, I don't want to focus. May be, I loose interest because I haven't found something that can keep my interest intact. probabilities. Lots of them. Talking of probabilities, I think I wouldn't remember how to solve a probability problem either.

I miss my life !!!

I've have been facing trouble lately with understanding basic human emotions. I feel, don't get me wrong. m not saying I'm absent of any emotion. it's obvious that I'm not. I just haven't felt the good ones in a really long time. So long actually that I don't remember what it's like to feel well. It's been like that ever since I was younger. A good feeling isn't something that I've ever been able to keep around for longer than brief moments.


The last few months have tried my patience with 'getting better' and 'fixing' myself. I guess I've been past the point of really thinking I can fix myself for awhile. Sometimes I just get hopeful that things will be better for me. My life isn't shit, my brain is. My 'relationships' are shit. I sit in my room every day, before, in-between and after classes. Alone. I like my time alone. I value it. When the time comes that I need to reach out, I do. I get in close, ruin whatever situation I get into, then get used to being alone all over again.


I'm stuck in a cycle. I try to think and decide what I want, or to understand myself. I can't do it. My mind doesn't work that way. I can't remember if I've ever been able to understand myself. Honestly, I don't know what it is to have deep rooted opinions in anything. In general I can like or dislike something, but to really understand and pick my own brain just doesn't work. It kills me to know that I can't 'think' like everyone else.


It's not my fault this happened. I don't have it in me to trust anymore. You ruined that. You're still not doing the right thing, and don't tell me I'm wrong. I know it's true.
It's not funny how the world works, though it has given me full incentive to finally cut ties with everyone. Time to make my move. But confusion is still in the air... should i...should not I !!!

Chotu ki Baaraat...!!!

Had an awesome last few days...was back in lucknow fr my younger brother Chotu's marriage.


Initially it was a bit awkward fr me with all mama mamis chacha chachis around...
i ws confused as i m not used to so much attention...privacy was missing
all frinds and distant relatives flocking up...
bua nani didi bhaiyaa everyone around was having a joyous time.


i was happy but did not know how to mix up with everyone...as i am a very private person and if not always most of the times make sure that i keep my feelings emotions in check.
Being under the constant and immediate attention of the people was making things difficult for me.I am surely not a social chameleon...if i don't like someone... i don't like him/her. I can't change the way i interact with some people depending who they are with. 
if i am around my friends i can be more of my self than i can be with my relatives, its actually not changing who i am, just respecting my family.
however chotu made things easier fr me...thanks to him the ice ws broken between everone.


Problem however i guess was with me.I was too conscious of what the other will feel and say, when in fact the other is not affected or even knowledged of the situation. It is the coldness with which we, from our early years of blank and blind innocence,  send the right signals and soon enough all else threatens to fall in place. 


Met a didi after nine long years...Bhaiyaa came all over from london just to attend the marriage. Nani(s) were with dholak singing songs...My college school company friends were also there. Bhai's frnds came frm b'lore,delhi,noaida,germany
He surely is a popular guy :)
Papa n Mummy were busy receiving guests.
Relatives came frm ballia allahabad varanasi delhi noaida nagpur calvutta b'lore mumbai.


Baraat ws Fun ... bhai's frnds were in their elements.
Papa Mummy too danced. Papa is a very reserved person, seeing him forget his worries fr sometime and dance was really heartening.
Babhi Bhaiyaa chacha chachi mama mami everyone had fun.


Best part was that i was able to meet everyone under one roof.
I always used to think that i was more close to my friends as i can be myself in front of them. But this wedding i must say brought me close to my family Friends and relatives.
Admiration for my Papa keeps growing with every passing day. He surely is a family person and most important;y a organised person. I knows he loves us a lot even though he rarely expresses it.


Its 8:30 in the morning...have to attend a call n make a few presentations...so Time to end for the day.

I am Sad

I am confused to the core...
Here i am sitting with red swollen eyes...have become a reclusive,more undesirable,obnoxious person 
after yesterday's disaster i am wondering can it get any more bad.
is this the end of the down swing...or just the beigning.


Small things have started to bother me...
failure is devastating... and it has really starting to take its toll on me,
i can't stand my friend's bad mood anymore(m nt naming him)
things went wrong somewhere...only i am to be blamed for this.
i should have been more cautious...


it will take some time for things to come back to normal
i'll have to battle demons of the past.


only solution is...
"MASTI Kam STUDY more"  :)

Her destiny was never hers to make !!!

I clearly remember my first day. The journey from Andheri to Grant Road in some taxi with a few friends. I was dressed in a simple Blue Jeans and Black Tshirt. My aim was to look modest without calling too much attention to myself. In my hand I clutched the address of the area I was about  to visit. I also kept feeling for my cell phone in my bag, my only sense of security. Finally we were there.


I was astounded, and horrified, would be the least to say. I saw a narrow street with wooden rotting structures on either side. On the doorways of these houses stood women of all ages garishly painted and in different states of undress. I saw men walking up and down the street looking at these women as if they were wares on display. Some women talked and laughed loudly, some beckoned the men who went by, while some just stood there stone faced. I went by a cinema hall which had some porno movie playing by the look of the posters. While I gawked foolishly at the men standing near the theatre someone grinned lecherously, saying something which fortunately I could not hear. But by now I was beginning to feel the stirrings of fear. 
A feeling of sympathy mixed with fear came in my mind. I saw girls of all ages of all shapes n sizes looking for a opportunity to grab your attention. They say love comes in all shapes and sizes. but it was only Love that was missing here.
small childrens were running here and there. Mens in dirty lungis and jeans in some corners playing cards n chewing tobacco looked at us devilishly.


Rotten filty smell was comin from everywhere. Spent half an hour there had a few talks with so called prostitutes.
Thus ended my first day. I went back to the safety and comfort of my home bewildered, and confused. The only thing I was certain about was that I was very wrong in thinking I am not needed here. I still didn't know what I could do. But I knew, do something I must....well that is a beginning right?
It was then that i decided to write down every single bit of what i saw and bring this human trafficking in front of everyone through my blog. 


Lets examine how most of  girls ended up in the red light area. 
1. N was a happy 10 yrs. old living in some remote impoverished village in Nepal.She has 5 more siblings. One probably suffering from TB. If they are lucky they eat twice a day. She used to go to a village school, but had to stop because of a paucity of funds. Days of going without food and the worsening condition of her brother who is afflicted with TB, forces her parents to sell her to a lady who promises to get her employment as a worker in a carpet factory in Kathmandu or as a domestic help in Mumbai. She travels by foot, bus and finally train to Mumbai. And is sold into a brothel for Rs 10000.
2. B is a 17 yr old from a village in Andhra Pradesh. Her father, a cotton farmer committed suicide because of increasing debt and falling revenues. There are 5 mouths to feed. So our brave young B decides to go to Mumbai to some acquaintance who could get her a job. She is illiterate and is travelling outside her village for the first time. She meets a friendly woman in the train just before arriving in Mumbai who looks at the address and tells her she lives in the same neighborhood and offers to take her there. She is brought to Kamathipura and sold.
3. D fell in love and decided to elope with her lover. The lover promises her marriage. She runs away to Mumbai with him, dreaming about marriage and domestic bliss. She is brought to Kamathipura and is sold and she never sees her lover again.
4. P gets into prostitution because her mother is a prostitute. She knows no other life. She was born in the brothels. We call this inter-generational prostitution.
5. M remembers going to the village fair somewhere in Jharkhand with her family. The next thing she knows she is drugged, thrown into a sack, and then dumped onto the back of a truck. She is brought to Mumbai. She is sold and since she is only 8 yrs old, she fetches a really good price.6.There was a particular peculiar arrangement that I saw in Grant Road. That of Bangladeshi WIP. They were living in the brothels with their families , husbands included. I found out that these women would service clients in the night, while their husband played cards in one of the many eating places nearby. During the daytime the women would sleep and the husbands would cook and look after the children. The would stay in Mumbai for 6 to 8 months, make enough money to go back to their villages. They would be back in Mumbai with their wives, and sisters,once they ran out of all their savings. Well I know the woman had no say in this arrangement and this was not a result of mutual consent.
7.L was a devdasi in a village in Karnataka. When the priests of the temple tire of her, she is sold to a Mumbai brothel. This consort of the Gods is no luckier than the others. 
Could they not run away from the brothels?
When she arrives at the brothel she refuses to obey the gharwali. She is locked up in a small room.Starved, beaten, tortured. This continues for days. If she refuses to give in, she is finally drugged and repeatedly raped. She is raped by more than 5 men in one night. Virginity is much in demand. After months of this torture she gives in and is moved to a room in the brothel. She cannot read or write.She does not understand the language. She is not allowed to leave the brothel. Gharwali has goons to watch over her. Crushed chillies being rubbed onto her private parts is one of the many threats she hears day and night.As a girl told me she spent her first year begging every man she was forced to sleep with to help her escape. One of her regular customers was a policeman.
By the second year the girl is battered, and diseased. Her spirit is irreversibly crushed and she is ashamed and afraid to go back to her village for now she is 'dirty'. Some part of her still hopes to go back one day and resolves to do whatever it will take. Which is paying back the money the gharwali paid to buy her. This is not easy to do. She gets only Rs. 50 per customer. She also has to pay for her lodging, food, clothes and medicines. Add to this the interest on the principal amount, freedom is one distant dream. I never heard of any happy endings.
Some brave and lucky ones did manage to escape thanks to the occasional police raids. But the happiness is short lived. Once her family back in the village realizes where she has been she is beaten, disowned and thrown out. She returns to the only thing she knows.

Her destiny was never hers to make.

My First Attempt in Blogging !!!

Hello Frnds,


First of all,a BIG THANKS fr reading my first post.
I am truly Blessed to have you in my BLOG AREA  :):)
With every X,Y,Z around me is blogging...but somehow this idea of blogging never excited me.
i am more of a 'Into my own World'...'Taare Zameen Pe' Type of a person.
Some frnds asked me to write a blog...to share my thoughts...i ignored it


It ws Till Only Yesterday when i saw ****** , Dumbest person i've ever cum across...writing a blog. WTF...am i missing sumthing...what joy can a person get by penning down his own thoughts
they do it on FB,Twitter...but Blogging ???? 
Just so many ‘why’s’ started to throng the mind. I Ignored th Idea again.  :(


But this boring afternoon made me do the impossible...nothin to do...no frnds to go out with...
Probably i should give it a shot.  YES lets give it a try. 


So here am I frnds,
I'll try to be more regular and and meaningful to what i write.


CHEERS,
MANU