Confessions of an Average Facebook User

I was reading an article somwhere in TOI .
The highest population in 2058 will be in
India ( Yay !!)
China
Facebook ( Clap Clap )


Life In Facebook is exciting indeed, however thanks to some people it has become more of Exhausting than Exciting..


These are just few aspects which really piss me off every single time, the extent of being pissed off can't be expressed in words...i feel like abducting the person,torturibg him/her the way he/she has been harassing me with his/her status messages and them amputating him/her.
Let me give u a insight into what goes into the great mind of a average facebook user


1) Those who put Ultra-sentimental status messages(SM) every now and then:
You must have surely come across some SMs( and have posted those SMs on your wall) like. "I am broke and the one who broke it can only fix it" or "tears from my eyes in which she gazed once".


Yawn !!! (I know its not polite but atleast its honest)


All I can say is, get a life(or atleast, spare mine),
 Just imagine, even,in the days of deepest gloom and despair, they don't forget to google "emotional/sentimental quotes" , and then Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V directly to their respective SM boxes.


2. Those who alway cry


OMG, I am badly fucked, my life sucks etc etc.


Serious suggestion: why just dont you jump from the 27th floor of any building and see what happens. you can always share your views thereafter at your very own comunity "mylifesucks@wesuck.com"


3. Those who use excessive high sounding english words in their SMs


Yeah, I am talking about those who write "scintillating,scintillating asteriod minim" instead of twinke, twinke little star as their SMs


Brother try your hands at GRE not on FB. apart from that, I sincerely hope that you screw these exams so badly that forget STANFORD, even SARLA BAI INSTITUE OF CERTIFIED SUCKERS deny you a degree.These guys deserve the standing ovation of my middle finger.


4. Those who keep optimistic SMs no matter what.


No matter whether they failed in 2 out of 5 exams or got 27.24%ile in CAT, their SMs will still be something like
"someday sun wil shine just for me and i will rule the world"
(ok ok, got it, you are talking about the DAY when India will win the WC football defeating BRAZIL 10-0)
or some thing like"I am just waiting for the right time and right place"
(Sure...Cya, next millenium on planet jupiter)


5. FB Application users. 
( Prayer time: Dear god, please confer me the golden oppurtunity of hanging these guys till death so that my soul can rest in peace)


a)Worst is DAILY HOROSCOPE Every morning, when I sign in my FB account, the 1st thing is their horoscope only.These people should be buried 11 feet under the ground ALIVE and while burring them, their daily horoscopes should be read loudly.



b)"XYZ has new answers to unlock" application. 
When you unlock these "do or die" rated questions, you will come across questions like
a. do you think XYZ should do laundry more often.
b. do you think XYZ should wear tight clothes.
c. do you think XYZ has a funny looking nose.
etc etc.....( 15-20 Qs like these)
I am damn sure, none of XYZ, me or you or, as a matter of fact, even the Aborigines of Western Australia are anyhow bothered about it.
What for these guys, well, nothing special, just rub their skin with sandpaper and then soak them in lemon juice.In between pull out their body hairs with a rusted pair of tweesers followed by fingernails and toenails. in the end burn them they are the real messangers of SATAN.


c) "How true is your love" application, when I played this game( or whatever it is), i got 98% (career best performance).I was smiling sheepishly coz it was true
30% for gargi
20% for neha 
35% for swati
13% for shruti
When I was a kid my mom use to tell me that there will one such beautiful day when someone very special will land up in your empty heart and will make your life worth living.But this smile was short lived coz when girls play the same game( or whatever it is) and get the same score, they also smile sheepishly as it is true for them also
30% from vineet
20% from sonu 
35% from Rajesh 
13% from anil
"please note that dese days, vineet, sonu, rajesh,anil can be replaced by vineeta,sonia, rajeshwari and anita also.....changing times u see"


and by the way,what role i play in Facebook...well...i am just a facebook stalker who is 24*7 hours online, rarely comes up with any updates but keep himself abreast with all the updates around.In short, Active Nonparticipating Facebook user...