Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind.

Random Thoughts of a Demented Mind.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Kejriwal - Leader India deserves



People are angry very angry ajkal. In print media, on popular mainstream media, the social networking sites – everyone is complaining. There is a big mess everywhere.

Foreigners are getting raped, People are killed in Religious riots, Business-walah say bureaucracy is corrupt , bureaucrats say business-walahs are corrupt and don't pay taxes, Women say Indian cities are unsafe, aam aadmi gets beaten by police on asking questions, Politicians ask vote on cast creed,Traditional parties want to come back to power with no intent of changing the system... Everyday we hear about new scam Oil Scam,Food Scam,2G , defective MIGs and submarines, crucial files of scams are disappearing, our PM still choose to remain silent. Media houses are funded by corporates and politicians. Elected MPs or people representatives show up every morning in parliamnet, throw mikes at each other, watch porn and leave.No one is listening to other person, interest rates are going up,News of layoffs everywhere, Indian rupee continues to weaken against the Dollar.

And when somebody asks these difficult questions to the government, when someone refuses to play by the rules and questions the flawed system ,the authority, the rich and mighty...he is Anarchist.
We don't Question the motives when Lalu yadav goes to jail and appoints Rabri as make shift CM but when Delhi CM resigns on ideology we get all riled up and label him as loser opportunist who is running away from responsibility. Arvind Kejriwal is a leader India deserves...The idea of Aam Aadmi Party experiment should not fail !

Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Inevitable...

This post is dedicated to people I have loved and lost.

We meet people who we think are compatible to us. Who understand us, who complete us. With who, we can share our deepest, darkest secrets. With who, we can be ourselves. We can verbalize our stupid-est of thoughts and deepest desires with them.
I too have met some people like that.

However Sadly then inevitable happens...
I was always holding onto people, and they were always leaving
We meet people,We like them,We try to give our best, Jealousy steps in, We get hurt, We fall out, People move on.

When I was a kid, the thing I wanted most was... I wanted to be important to people...to have people that understood me. I wanted to just be close to somebody. And back then, a thought would go through my head almost constantly: "There's never gonna be a room someplace where there's a group of people sitting around, having fun, hanging out, where one of them goes.
That'll never happen. There's nothing interesting about me." I just felt like I was a sad little boring thing.

Fact of the matter is... the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony. No somebody will help you.

For now my main goal is to stay alive. To keep fooling myself into hanging around. To keep getting up every day. Right now I live without inspiration. I go day to day and do the work because it's all I know. I know that if I keep moving I stand a chance. I must keep myself going until I find a reason to live.



Sunday, September 15, 2013

Yaad ata hai !!!




Barsaat ki boondon ka balcony pe rakhe chai ke cup mein gira karna yaad ata hai
COMICS ko bagal me chuppa ke, skool ka HOMEWORK karna yaad ata hai. 

Shaam ko tez Baarish me baahar nikalne par, maa ki gaali yaad ati hai
Baal Sukhaati, Bheegi hui kurti mein bholi surat wali bagalwaali yaad ati hai.

Pant ghutno tak mod ke, gola maar k FOOTBALL khelna yaad ata hai
Paise jod jod k chup chup ke, skool k baad choley bhatoore khana yaad ata hai 

Baalon mein Gel laga ke, khud ko SHAHRUKH sochna yaad ata hai.
World cup me TV k samne SACHIN SACHIN ! chillana yaad ata hai.

Dosto k sath skool ke peeche ke seat pe gaane gana yaad ata hai
Devdas bane dost ki mohabatt ko chup chup ke, LINE marna yaad ata hai.

Exam time me der raat, jag jag k padhna yaad ata hai.
Pocket money k liye papa k pair dabana yaad ata hai

Ghar se dur rhu to, gharwaalo ki baatein sochna yaad ata hai
Jaaney kab masti bhare dino se nikal k bada ho gya mai

Yaad ata hai !!!


Humble and Inspiring !

May be it is prepared and practiced...but somehow i can feel every single word he says. There is a lot of romanticizing which goes on after one is a success but still his words are poetry to me...simply SUBLIME !!!


Monday, March 25, 2013

Me Vs World






Many times i feel i have no sense of direction.
Just going with the flow. aimlessley wandering in search of the unknown :(
Meanwhile others around have get on with life...slogging toiling in there line of work.
Those are the times when I am stranded, and realise that the others have found it all.

Sometimes I feel like i know the direction and in control of the situation.I believe in my instincts and do/say/act what i feel is right.
And then, the others do not agree with me.
Those are the times when I am stranded, and realize that the others have found it all.

ENough of the confusion. I know i am not special but i also know i am not normal. i never was i never can be.The innocence finally got stained and the image of the world around shattered before my eyes. 


I Believe I shall not fit in.
Taking your leave hence my friend!

 Will Go on, take my own road. 

I know the path is not going to be easy and the friends are going to be few.  

Still, Will go on singing the "Har Fikra ho Dhuve me udaata chala gya" the best way i possibly can,
 It will give me a feeling of content someday perhaps.

NOTE:  I am not DRUNK

Chota Baby Aryan ! Baby Who Never Cried.













Turning 30...



I am knocking on the door to the other side of adulthood…yes, I’m turning 30!  UGH!  Some people welcome this idea, some people totally freak out (that’s me) and some don’t even think about it (totally wish this was me).  Every person has their own way of coping with the idea that they will no longer be in their 20′s (OMG I just got nervous).

My twenties could best be described as me doing whatever the hell I wanted to do. During this decade I basically completed my entire bucket list, including a lot of things I never thought I would do.

 I can’t even tell you the amount of times I made a huge deal out of this shift into a new decade. Nine times out of ten, I did nt wanted to go in next decade and stay forver in my 20s. Continue Partying and Enjoying Life.
As for me, my 20s were amazing.   In between all of life’s important moments, the bullet points on the broad timeline of this past decade, there’s been a whole lot of figuring it out – “it” being, you guessed it, life. Now, at the fairly young age of newly-30 I still have a long, long way to go, but I am fairly certain that as my life goes on, I will look back to my 20s as a time of self-discovery. And if that is indeed the case, then I am hoping that my 30s will be a time to enjoy all of the “stuff” I figured out.
I was scared of 30 because it feels like the end of youth, that it’s a distinct marker between being young and getting older. 

I hate turning 30 but then u cannot stop the clock ticking. i wil have to get adjusted.but still i have decided to keep acting the 20s and not panic.
dekha jayega

Bring it On :D


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Love Life Etc...



There are times when some obsessions creep up on you...you don't pay them much attention and thought and think of yourself as silly until one striking moment when you realize they're the greatest thing you've ever come across.
Memories are what we remember about happenings in our past. These events or happenings might not be exact, or complete. They may even be distorted, And they can be incomplete or inaccurate in many ways. Some people remember the big picture, some remember the details, some remember the words, and some lucky ones remember nothing. But i still remember you.

Never in my wildest dreams did I had thought I would meet you and you would captivate and win my heart at "Hello".You are special to me with qualities that drive my desire for you far beyond any imagination. The Laugh, The Smile, The Tinkling Eyes, The Concern, The List is Endless.

I was always afraid that ppl  will stab at my heart...I kept it closed off n did not let anyone come near it. Until,  I met you ... I had a feeling that something is different, something would stop the constant pain, and I allowed myself for that small instant to trust someone and eventually unknowingly fall in Love. 

You are my sunrises and my sunsets. You are my world. Those Long Strands of Hair lightly blowing in the breeze and the sun bouncing off your face making your eyes sparkle like stars in the midnight sky you captured my soul, my heart without speaking a word or even knowing.

Tonight as I struggle to sleep All I can do is think of you Wanting to hold you in my arms and kiss your tender lips. Tears slowly cloud my world As I hold my pillow tight Wishing you were beside me to make things right.I cry myself to sleep Having dreams of you with me. While I'm looking in your eyes My heart skips a beat. You're the one Who makes me feel this way You're the only one Who helps me day by day Understand the purpose Of this life.

I love the way you kiss me, your lips so soft and smooth.I love the way you make me so happy,And the ways you show you care.I love the way you say, "I Love You" and the way you're always here for me .I think of you each morning And dream of you each night.

Time will pass n keeps on changing  My time here on this planet will also end someday. Time for me to leave and go.
That day will come when i wont be here. That day when you have a problem u wont be able to meet me or call me to ask for help.
That day when u want to send me a message i wont ever receive it. 
That day when you cannot tell me stories about XYZ. That day when i cannot tell you how awesome you cook and look.
That day when i am not here i wont be able to tell u that i love u so much and  i cherish every moment i have with you. Never regret anything we did.

I have said lots of I love yous Have given you lots of kisses and hugs I have given you my all But still those are just not enough. Through good and bad times Nothing can keep us apart.
I will never leave you.
No matter what happens I'll always be true.
Though times may be rough and days may be tough I'll stick with you through and through until the next life...

My world is a beautiful place to live in. Sometimes i sit back with a cup of tea and ask this question to myself -What in this world would I do without you? I hope to never find out the answer to that question.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

I Me and Myself



  • I use Dabur Lala Tooth Paste for brushing teeth.
  • I know Bipasha Basu is a Man.
  • I am never too full. I can eat always.
  • I absolutely love sleeping...no one can come in between my sleep and me not even Megan Fox
  • I feel repulsed but hypocrites and show offs.
  • I love writing and find writing first few lines toughest.  Sometimes I do copy few heavy words or should i say take inspiration from other bloggers.
  • I get uncomfortable when girls are around. I prefer male company.
  • I love batting and even fielding. I hate bowling.
  • I plan. Then I plan more. And then I procrastinate
  • I Hate smokers but occasionally i smoke.
  • I haven't watched a single episode of 'CID', 'Friends' or any Saas Bahu Drama.
  • I also speak my thoughts. But the texts are always encrypted. hence mostly i am misunderstood. 
  • I can lie with a straight face.
  • I don't listen to instrumentals.
  • I visit IMDB more than 1000 times a day, rest of the time is taken by my facebook account ( which i am planning to delete very soon ).
  • I like Shahrukh khan and love the way he speaks off screen.
  • I wish i was old enough when Karishma Kapoor was young. 
  • I get satisfied easily yet i am never happy.
  • I am immune to alarm clocks.
  • I doze off while talking over the telephone.
  • I am always short of topics to talk about.
  • I am a certified Loner, live in my own world and need continuous self assurance. 
  • Things always sound better in my head than when I say them.
  • When in Bathroom don't disturb me. I need at least 30 mins to take a proper bath... i love wasting water and love keeping the tap open when i brush my teeth.
  • I can't multitask.
  • I can have Boiled eggs Omelets actually eggs in any form more than four times a day, 365 days a year.
  • I don't believe in the concept of celebrating Random 'days' - valentine's day, mothers's day, chairs's day, slippers' day ! Only thing i understand is Birthday 
  • I cannot untie knots. i use scissors.
  • I Hate travelling however i love going out anywhere in the middle of the night.
  • I once had butterscotch and mango flavored ice cream together and I hate it.
  • I love being alone. I just hate silence when I'm not.
  • My favorite place on earth is my bed.
  • I absolutely hate hangovers.
  • I hate to walk. Wheels whthout any doubt is the best invention ever.
  • I hate getting up early in the mornings. I punch my bed/the wall almost daily on waking up. I hate it.
  • I love staring at my computer screen doing nothing at all except for refreshing the screen from time to time.
  • I read and edit my old blogs. I'm too finicky with that.
  • I have a 256 KB memory.
  • People normally call me up on their birthdays to remind me to wish them.
  • I always have a hellish time finding keys. My room mates tel me it ws me who lost all the five keys of the room. But i don't believe them.
  • I don't want to hurt people and yet I hate political correctness.
  • I do not drink even a litre of water in a day.
  • I think Peirce Brosnan is the best Bond ever.
  • I have never solved a Crossword or Sudoku. I just hate them.
  • I Love Naomi Watts blue eyes.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

IF


If you can keep your head when all about you 
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, 
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
But make allowance for their doubting too; 
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, 
Or being hated, don't give way to hating, 
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 
And treat those two impostors just the same; 
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
And never breathe a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
To serve your turn long after they are gone, 
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, 
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 
If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, 
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

Shaadi Season


It seems this blog is dying a natural death. Changing Times, Lotsa Work, more to do, more to think about. i don't know the exact reason. But Slowly and Steadily it is Phasing out.
Another nightover with me giving myself the company. ( I Me Myself Sallu Bhai Style). 
Another Sleepless night, no Work In hand, Nothing to Munch, Cool misty breeze from the window ,Dim lights and Sleeping Roommates. And i decided to square the circle,to jot down all the randomness in my head and to give a new life to the dead(Blog).

2012 is about to end. It's been an exciting year to say the least. 
Year when half of my facebook friend list got married . 
Year When i completed the dreaded MBA, 
Year when i met some very old friends.
Last month specially has been the most exciting. Both Baldies,my cousin Sisters and College friends getting married. 
As you could imagine i was over the moon at the thought of meeting Purane Yaar Dost. Memories of childhood got unwrapped.


Coming Back to the Shaadis
Shaadis trust me are no different from our Bollywood masala flicks.It has everything emotion,comedy,drama,dance,music etc.

From Always Cribbing Aunties with Tonnes of Make Up to Always Giggling Smiling Pretty Young Things Gyrating in Testosterone Boosting outfits to Uncles with 'I should have be in my room with glass and chakna' look to Sweaty Ladke in Baraatis Dancing like there is no tomorrow.

I enjoyed it All. Wedding season it was. 




Saw this Amazing Movie ' Life of Pi ' in 3D a few days back in Lucknow.
I had not seen 'Avatar in 3D and Practically hated 3D movies. 
But O Boy 'Richard Parker' and Company took us on an Adventurous ride in the Pacific which is Worth Remembering. Story of a Teen Surviving the Wild Pacific Ocean and his Bonding with the Royal Bengal Tiger.
The movie was visually mesmerizing. On Visual Effects alone, Life of Pi will likely land a nomination for Best Picture. A scene where a Majestic Blue whale breathtakingly jumps out from the calm sea, turning the waters is Simply Out of the World.




The Year 2012 is also about to end. Unfortunately due to some should have been avoided circumstances and my evergreen carelessness my Andaman Plan got cancelled. Keeping my fingers crossed waiting for some last minute miracle to happen.

Now to some more serious preachy Randomness in my head
Life is irreversible,insensitive and at time uncontrollable.
One moment i was dancing with joy prepared for something that was about to come my way. The very next moment it was not mine to claim. That doesn't really change anything, 
does it? Days pass by, Life goes on. Dilli jana shyad kismat me hi nahi likha hai :(

Anyway. I'm still the same person, trying very hard to be someone different. I hope whoever is reading this is alright, wherever you are.
Take Care !

Friday, August 3, 2012

Letter from an Unknown Escort !

Smell of first rains came from the air. There was hustle bustle all around the city. Monsoons have finally arrived. Children were playing football in the first rains of the monsoon, Tea Stall Owner who sits near the bus station was suddenly the most wanted person in the area.
BEST buses covered were the posters of Sunny Leone's JISM ran packed, Thanks to the unpredictable Mumbai rains.

I kept looking outside the window. My Life will never be the same again.
I am 32 and hail to a small village 20 kms. away from Jaipur district. Never even in my wildest dreams i had thought that i would travel to Mumbai. For a small town girl like me even going to a nearby small theater which was not even one km away from my village was one big thing and here i was staying alone in the big bad city of Mumbai.

I came here in search of love and in search of hope to live my life as widely as i can. I went where the winds took me. Fell In Love, Ran away from Home and landed up in the city of extremes.I had an open heart which wanted to love and an an open mind which was ready to accept the changes.
He painted a picture of Mumbai in my mind which was very far from reality. I realized this much later.

Things change, Time change but My Life never changed. In fact it has taken a turn for the worse.
Ten years have passed by. Mumbai has taught me how to wear a mask and be comfortable in a crowd.I work as an escort and work part time for a private agency. Today I have everything what i wanted from life.  A posh flat in suburbs, car, lots of admirers who refuse to acknowledge me in public .But the peace of mind is still missing. Wish there was a sanctuary for the emotionally abused where all wounds could be healed.


I don't have anyone besides me, someone whom i can rely on someone whom i can trust. Its awfully hard to find a relationship while being an escort. Its takes someone very rare to cope with the realities of a girlfriend sleeping with random people every second night.
In our business there is always a big risk of getting infected Sexually. transmitted infections are a a big concern.
Knowing all this still i get up every evening, wear makeup and sit next to my cellphone waiting for my next client call.

I am a person who is looked down upon, Society is allergic to us and denies our existence. I am sick of ungracious,spiteful,envenomed socialites who treat us like a  cancer to the society.
I am a product of an institute which was built by the society itself thousands of years ago.


But why am i writing all this. That Poster on the BEST bus caught my attention.
Half naked Sunny Leone moans are patronized but no one hears to our cries. Come Friday and all the Moral Vigilantes would be seen in a dark theater  munching popcorn , sipping cola and enjoying curves of Miss Leone.

Decaying society's double standards are clearly evident. The standards which are self-defeating,contradictory and incoherent. When i was small I also wanted to be an actress. But today after knowing the profession i am in seriously doubt weather my resume is good enough for Mahesh Bhatt and company. Society still hasn’t grown out of its stereotypes.

I am not apologetic about what i do, I am a social servant...but its high time now...Time to accept us...Time to shed our hypocrisy.

Regards,
Unknown Mumbai Escort

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Fear of Public Speaking


'The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.'

Public Speaking is something most people ( including me ) fear of. Feet start to tremble and Sweat glands start releasing salty water from unknown pores in the body.
Even a thought of speaking/Talking/Singing in front of people brings butterflies in the stomach.
My fear of Public Speaking has a very long history and has grown on me over the years.
But two incidents are the main culprits i would say for nurturing, developing and creating my fear of Public Speaking.

Incident 1:
It was a Inter College Cultural Fest at a Friend's college.I was all excited as i was participating in the Solo Singing Category at the Cultural Fest. Many Colleges from our city were also participating.
I had started practising for the event really hard. In College, At Dance Classes, at Friends Place. Only thing in my mind was to bring out the SINGER inside me, A fire was burning inside me, The Talent inside me has to come out...Whole world will have to sit back and take notice of my Singing Genius.
WOHOOOOOOOOOOO....MY TIME HAS FINALLY ARRIVED

Platform was laid, Stage was Set. Many Colleges from all around the state are participating. Whole city is going to be there. Once in lifetime opportunity to get noticed by girls all around the city. Once in a lifetime opportunity not to have a lame excuse for scoring low in Exams, Once in a Lifetime Opportunity to be FAMOUS.

I was all pumped Up.
Finally the day arrived. Decided to give boring starting inaugural speech by the director a miss. I was all dressed up for the occasion . Reached the college an hour late. College was decorated Everybody around were in  groups some were busy practising, some bird watching . I decided to take a leisurely walk around the college.
The Cultural festival was packed with academic and cultural inter-collegiate ... College fashion was always distinctively fun, fresh and inventive. Girls were painted with tonnes of layer of make-up and boys were acting strangely stupid to get their attention.
Fest started off with a debate competition, followed by skit and dance competition. Finally Solo Singing Competition were announced. Participants were asked to come backstage. i coolly went backstage . A dark Skinned Guy was announcing the names of the contestants from each college.
To my Horror my name was not in the List. He told me maximum three contestants were allowed from each college and they have already received names of three contestants from my college.
I took the list from him
1) Abhishek Pal      B Tech (Mechanical)
2) Supriya Ghosh    B Tech (IT)
3) Priya Arora        B Tech (Electronics)

I decided to act smart and removed Electronics Waali ka naam from the list.
( It was Later that I came to know that she was a SA RE GA MA PA contestant and also girl friend of my class mate !!! )
So I am the third contestant.
I've been in the choir of my school since the fourth grade, and was very confident of my INDIAN IDOL talent.

Orchestral music started playing. Bands were practising...
1000 Watts of noise...
Dham Dham Dham...DhinChak DhinChak !!!

Suited booted Host announced my name 'Please welcome Manu Prakash Pandey from BBD Lucknow. He will be singing Kal Ho na Ho Title Track'
Suddenly there was a pin drop silence everywhere. Crowd of more than 2000 all of a sudden went in Coma. It appeared as if final semester results has been announced and everyone has failed, in between there were a few groups doing routine khus phus. Every single gaze were fixed on the stage.
I did not expected such a good audience and their silence was very confusing.
I made a hesitant entry on the stage, Checked the mike and asked to orchestra bandwala to start music only after i finish the opening Lines.
I could not believe that these creatures in crowd could generate this eerie silence. Silence however did not lasted long a Section of the crowd started clapping. Some Colleagues and friends decided to welcome me .
It actually Boosted my confidence.
I felt like i am the some singing czar and decided to open out a way for the imprisoned splendour within me to escape.

'Har Ghadi Badal Rahi hai Roop Zindagi...'
Before i could sing the next line...every single person in the crowd started clapping.
i got confused am i going that well.
'Chaav hai kabhi kabhi hai dhoop jindagi.'
Suddenly the crowd turned hostile, started hissing and booing.
Orchestra had started to play and i was not singing to the beat.
Due to Nervousness the Sonu Nigam and Kishore kumar inside me had abandoned the orchestra's rhythm, and were getting ahead or behind the beat at their own will.
Sur and Taal everything had gone for a toss.
I decided to wait for the euphoria to go down.
I waited they clapped ..... I waited they still clapped.

I was thinking 'Huh, what did I just do that was so funny?'
I believed I started off OK, and when it got bad it got really bad, like hilarious bad. ... My favourite part was when the crowd "hyped" up by singing the lines along with me.
I almost fainted and vowed never to sing in public again.

Incident 2:
Embarrassment came quite a bit closer  when I was on stage at the completion of our Technical Training in an IT MNC, finishing up sandwiches without aalus Cream rolls Without Cream at a small get together of around 100 odd training mates and faculties I Was sitting in the last row with lafander group cracking Sade hue fart jokes.
All of a sudden heard my name getting announced.
Front Bencher were calling my name, All the faces turned every single person had a devilish grin on their face.
'Arey yeh Kya hua'
What these Lowlifes Front Bencher want from me. cant they see a Backbencher Having fun.
Guess they had taken too seriously my comment
'A sleeping lion is stronger than a barking DOG'

My feet started to shake again. 100 Eyes fixed on u, capturing every single moment. Droplets of Sweat started to roll off my forehead
I reluctantly got up, took a Deep Breath and went up to the Stage.

The audience and I were in formal dress, The Fact that every single gaze was fixed on me made me more nervous I started off by thanking my faculties and sharing the not so great training time we had ( Wonder why IT people call Training as  Honeymoon Period )
Everything was going on smoothly , my hands were moving in perfect rhythm with what i was speaking. For a change I was not stammering and not forgetting what to say.

It was then that I noticed that my pants were unzipped.
What was worse, the audience noticed me noticing it.

I quickly put on a face of comic surprise, and everyone roared. Then, as the laughter died down, I leaned against the podium, nodded knowingly, and said: “Remember the the Lovely Time we spent together. Remember all the tips and tactics. But above all, remember that none of them mean anything . . . unless you remember to Zip your pants”.

I got a standing ovation. And for the rest of the evening, people were discussing whether or not I'd planned the whole incident.

NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the innocent and to hide identity :)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Ek Chotti Se Love Story

Clock Strucked 12. Alarm started to Ring loudly.I reached  my Flat and Rang the DoorBell, it was Pouring Like Hell Outside.
I was nervous,shivering and a wide array of thoughts running into my mind.
Drops of Sweat rolling off my Forehead. Fear was evident in my eyes...
'What if Baba Finds out? Maa will never forgive me.'
'Do Rajvinder,Jyoti and Alex already knew about this?'
'Shreya and her Parents ... What will they think.'
'What will Happen to Garima now?'
'My Career is Screwed'

I am never going to forget that night

1 Day Back
26th March 2012  CAFE COFFE DAY PUNE
'Where are the girls?' Rajvinder screamed on his S2.
I never really liked Rajvinder,His Carefree attitude towards life, his arrogance.
He came from a Rich Haryanavi family and always thought Money can get him anything
Respect Among friends,Girlfriend,Power....ANYTHING.
He was a stubborn Rick Kid and i am Glad i was not one of them  as Once these kids grow up and get pushed out of the womb into the real world, they’re screwed. Unless of course their parents are willing to tube feed them for the rest of their lives. Which in some cases does actually happen.

Lost in my own Thoughts...i felt a someone pulling my cheeks .... Aaaaaaah
'Kya Soch rahe ho Badnaam Shyaar' Garima Perked up.
'Hi Garima !' I Replied instantly. Sweet Smell of Rosy aroma filled the air.
Her Body Spray Frangrance has the Best Aroma. I Guess she uses roses,lily or whatever
I Always wonder how can a Girl Smell so good All the time.
Here its me Always Smelling Like a Rotten Dead Rat.I always wanted to Smell Just Right for Garima and always failed Misreably. My Fluids start flowing as soon as i come under the sun.

'I am all excited for tomorrow,Matheran is going to be fun... btw new Tshirt. Pocket Money aa gyi kya ghar se?' She Said
'Nopes i won't be able to come tomorrow...I ahve a Interview ...Shreya gifted me and i don't like it'
(She started smiling. Girls like guys disparaging other Girl. Guess this makes them feel better)
'Aachi hai na, i like it...Leave it what about your Interview call'
'Its scheduled for tomorrow'
'Wowie Kal Kaha Treat de rahe ho Phir Hume' She Blinked
'Let me Clear First' I retorted ( This was the fifth Interview call of this week. and i was not able to clear any of them.)
'Don't Worry Siddhartha, You are going to clear the interview this time.' She Smiled.
I smiled back. She is just what i need.I wanted to get up and kiss her perfectly Shaped lips .


'Wassup Bitch' Rajvinder's Husky Voice interrupted my Honeymoon thoughts.
Garima and Rajvinder are a Couple.But whenever Garima comes i always forget my not so great Stage 1 Friendship ( read aquintances) with rajvinder. Such is her Aura. So pretty Like Camilla Belle, So Vivacious Like Karishma Kapoor, So voluptuous just like Megan Fox , So Graceful Just Like Lady Diana. In Short...I am Completely Smitten With Garima. Unfortunately for me She also Likes Rajvinder.

I gave Rajvinder a nonchalant look then and directed my gaze on the Random Guys Checking out Garima.
Not their fault i said in my mind...even i do the same.
I decided to concentrate on my Cold Coffee.

Rajvinder and Garima Got Busy in their Matheran Trip Plan.
This was my main problem my The older I grow the more I like listening to people talking. Fact is i am unable to speak and express myself.

'Oy Sidharth...U not coming to matheran...y? Rajvinder tapped me on my shoulder
'Dude I have a Interview Call tomorrow'
'Abe Kyu ja rha hai ...Clear to Hoga nahi'
'Rajvinder Stop being so mean to him. He is trying and i am....' Garima Came in between
'You will not Understand Rajvinder. Sab paka Pakaya tere ko mil gya hai na' i raised my voice
This is why i hated haryanavi bastard. He had everything wat i needed including Garima and he loves to belittle me and embarrass me in front of her.

'Chal chor Dekh Liyo....Jyoti Alex and Shreya are also coming'
'Yeah i will try.' '
Suddenly my Mobile started Vibrating. It Was Shreya.
Shreya is from Mumbai and my Fiancee. We got engaged a week back. She is an MBA working with a Leading IT firm as a Business Analyst.She loves me a lot. I also believe I Like her. but unfortunately me and her agree on absolutely nothing.

I excused myself, Got out of CCD and picked up the phone.
'Hi Siddu'
'Hey Shreya'
'How was my Tshirt. u Liked it?'
'Yeah it was nice.' I replied coldly
'Thanks Siddu. BTW i will be coming for Matheran Tomorrow. Nisha is also coming'

TO BE CONTINUED...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Trip to Andaman !

Rahul 'the wall' Retired.
Countless blogs have been written heaping praises on Rahul's Dedication,Focus and Team man Spirit.
These few lines are also not going to be very different. If you hate Rahul Dravid You always have an option of closing the window/tab and surf Semi Nudes on TOI or may be stalk people on Facaebook or maybe Google 'Sachin Tendulkar' Records'.
Rahul accroding to me was greater than any tendulkar or ganguly if u talk of consistency , patience and Overseas records.
Generation coming may get blinded by the stats of some GREATS and probably will never realize the Impact of Innings played by Rahul Dravid on the Overall Outcome of the games.( Centuries too. Pun Intentional).
Countless times he has rescued INDIA when other STARS flopped. He scored runs in tough batting conditions and in overseas Tests that led to wins abroad, a phenomenon that till then had been pretty rare in Indian cricket.
Rahul according to me had still a lot of Cricket left in him. Just like Tendulkar century of Tonns or Bradman's average is impossible to emulate similarly filling Rahul's Number three position ( at least in INDIA) and living upto all the crazy expectations is next to impossible.

Mr Dependable You are Going To be Missed !

Sachin's Century of Tonnes.
INDIA lost to Bangaladesh. Still Whole India Celebrated. .
Don't want to start with the debate of INDIA losing whenever SACHIN scores. SACHIN is a Genius and a GOD's gift to Indian Cricket. I agree. But FACT still remains INDIA lost that match to Bangaldesh Thanks to Sachin Playing Slow for his hundred, Helped by some poor Indian bowling leading to something which surely wud have spoiled Sachin's Celebrations.
Trust me i am not a Random Sachin Hater who criticizes Sachin just to seek attention.

Life is getting Busy with every passing Day. Thanks To MBA and never ending Exams, i have missed Shaadis of very Close Friends. This Blog is not going to compensate my absence from your special day my Friend , neither is this a public apology for my absence. Trust me choosing between your marriage and *&%$#@! exams was a Toughie. I got Selfish and was blinded by the  "fear of Exams" :(
Hope you are going to be sensible and will understand my situation and not reciprocate the same actions :P
Everyone hates Exams. But My dear friend my absolute HATE for Exams has ten folded now.
Most importantly Your intentional silence over the issue makes me feel more miserable and i want to DIE. Off-course i don't like the idea of dying and if i do die too young , i hope i can accomplish enough things that makes you happy.

Titanic 3D Version is releasing  very soon. Leonardo Di Caprio is now a huge name in West, Kate Winslet is now less chubbier and more Rosier. But is this the reason enuff to watch the EPIC 'YET AGAIN' on the big Screen.
'Are they Going To See the ICEBERG this time Now that They are releasing it in 3D.'
Total Waste of Money , Time and resources If u ask me what this 3D version is.


Moving on to some more Serious Career Related Section.
Met a friend after a Long time...He Recalled his Horrid Office Story
I always believed Office is where boring people do boring stuff. Reading Files,signing documents, meetings and what not.
'His' brief stint at a company further personified 'my' belief.

" I never had any sky high expectations. But guess that also was a bit too much to ask for.
Office Guy can be a metaphor for a person who lacks in human characteristics like honesty,loyalty,emotions.
You always has to do 'Sir Sir' for the people higher in the food chain or else be prepared to get eaten.
If you are truly focused towards your career, office is going to be energizing and great fun. This is what i forced myself to believe. But you can't close your eyes forever and chase the ideals which don't exsist. Surroundings do takes their toll on you.
No matter how much u slog, no matter how many times u pass fake smiles whenever he passes, no matter how many times you have accepted the mistakes which were never yours at the first place.... BOSS is never HAPPY. ORGASM is what he expects but sadly you never last that long.
On a Lighter Note Some Times I feel like suing NAUGHTY AMERICA people for projecting an Office image to Indian Youth which is So far from Reality.  "  He Said.
( Above description is Not Mine. So don't jump the gun and get any wrong ideas. All Workplaces are not the Same :P )


Best thing that has happened to me in all these months probably is 'THE TRIP TO ANDAMAN'.
it has given me a reason to live till the next year. Can't Wait for 31 st December 2012 .
Far away from the 'Hoo Haa Hoopla' of the City, from the over crowded smoke filled Discs and Pubs, from Scantly Clad Girls and their Macho Boyfriends .... this New Year has to be different.
My First favour of the New year is to Gift myself 'Peace Of Mind'
Clean Air, Transparent Water, Coconut groves, Soothing Waves, Bright Sunshine. I Have not heard many things about Andaman. Last time i saw Andaman and Nicobar islands It was in my Geography Books.
And i am Serious about taking my Chances this Year. Anyone who wants to join the bandwagon can Always reach me on my cell.

Waiting for your Fair and insightful comments :D

Have a Great day Ahead....Tadaaaaa !!!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Thursday, November 10, 2011

My Tryst With Truth !!!

Its 5 in the Morning Here. Have a exam today in afternoon but somehow i am not able to cocentrate SO TYPICAL OF ME and it is rather unusual for a guy like me to write a post at this time.10000+ plus thoughts are going in my mind...It’s like all of a sudden the “thinking” part of my brain is more active without even wearing a thinking cap, Probabaly i Should BLOG.


First things first...I hve some serious issues with my hairs. YES you can very easily say i am paranoid about them. Yes I do. I am not a baldie though…No I am not, neither am I on my way to becoming. However something unusual happened yesterday i went to meet a friend.He came to pune after four or maybe five years. first thing he said was 'abe tere baal jhad gaye kya aur saley mota bhi ho gaya hai tu'. i was like OMG i am obese i know that but i am balding thats new to me.Although it amazes me how the sensible and insane part of me can actually fight over such a trivial issue like falling hairs, and finally it leads into more Frustration.
Ohh And for those who are wondering what I did next. I didn’t wait there for more than half hour before I said to him thank you! …He said these two words putting more salts on to my wounds as it were… “Khyaal rakhna!” …I said “F U” in my head.


Now to some more serious issues. I have a thought prevailing in my mind and i cannt stop admitting it. I have a feeling about my friends. How strange is the fact that People always leave. I had come to know about the fact this night. How foolish i am really. Whatever goes on in my mind is not all rubbish.No one stays forever.
There are sometimes in your life when you have to move aside all the knowledge to make way for your beliefs. and Beliefy defies my knowledge here. belief says we are still the same but facts say something different.


This is the second time i have felt lost.I have to fix almost everything in my life, I don't know how!! Friends say, Let it be, 'Sab Theek Ho Jayega' ... but When? How? Results, disappointments, Career, Friends, Family !
There are some tough decisions to make and a tougher time to face. The worst thing is to know that you have been a stupid till now and it is you who is responsible for everything, first, spoil everything for yourself and then look for some ways out of it.


This was a brief review of all the melodrama of my own shitful life which could have been worse thanks to the uncertainity in the exams ( not many people will understand what i meant here. no fault of yours)


Enough of those serious talks :P
Came across this beautiful comic strip on FB


And Yes Some one also shared a pic on facebook of mahatma gandhi dancing with a white lady.
It heartbreakingly amazes me is the tendency to update 'status' in a fraction of a second spewing venom about someone even if you don't know the person. 
i don't know mahatma . I was not fortunate enough to see the person but honestly it deeply saddens me when people without even knowing the facts make a irresponsible statement and share something absurd, hollow and vague just to get some attention . In Doing so they question there beliefs and there motives and deny them the respect which they deserve. Mahatma was a leader and lead the movement of freedom with Great intergrity and courage.I am just one of the Billions of those dreamers who grow up in life with a dream of achieveing something as great as what Gandhi ji did.
Mahatma Gandhi and Bhagat Singh, two Legends of the Indian freedom movement and inspirational leaders who laid down their lives for the freedom of the country. Committed as they were towards the goal of India's freedom from British rule, But still Genration X gets up and questions Gandhi ji's ways and Bhagat singh's ways.
'Arey pehle khud kuch karo aisa desh k liye tab aake baat karna.'
Though I am not totally convinced with everything he did.. but he was in general a Good Person.. much better than many. 
Mahatam Gandhi, Jinaah or Bhagat Singh who is more Secular or Communal we don't have enough proofs to draw any conclusions. Some people Say that Nathuram Godese's testament. So You are willing to Ignore all the Great work Done by The Mahatma On the basis on 10 page testament. Really !!!
Is it enough to bring him under trial and to judge him guilty of not being a patriot and honest person ?


India Against Congress. 
Everybody love to blame the congress for anthing and everything these days.
 Be it Rajeev, Nehru, Sonia or Rahul no one is spared. A few months age he was looked upon as a future leader by the media nd the nation and all of a sudden he is enemy no 1.
Stop envying RAHUL GANDHI. Politely speaking the sooner you accept the fact that he was born with a silver spoon  and you weren't, the better it gets for you. Stop blaming him for the anarchy in the country and for everything that goes wrong in this nation, however rotten they are.I have special sympathies for people with status updates: 
1) India against congress 
2)Rahul's Mafia GirlFriend
3)Sonia's past life.
4) Swiss Bank Revelations about the Indian Money.
 Trust me People, you're not funny( at least to me)and at the same you also aren't doing anything for the cause. In the age of Technology its so easy to manipulate people and fool them . THANKS to the MEDIA.
By saying this i am not saying what Anna ji is doing is wrong. We stand United aginst corruption but a line has to be drawn somewhere and i am pretty sure half of the people in the movement don't even know what the main agenda is. This is the main concern.


Sachin yet again failed to cross the 100 Ton mark. fans were stunned into silence at the Feroz Shah Kotla stadium when Sachin Tendulkar once again missed out on his 100th international ton... But india did managed to beat the west indies.
He He He GOD Deinied West Indies to be the part of the History


There are many mysteries which are unolved like 
a) the mystery of bermuda traiangle, 
b) mystery of sachin's glorious career, 
c) mystery of fauja singh great health 
AND
.
.
.
.
d) mystery of PARMINDER SINGH scoring well in exams. 
How he manages, when he studies and what goes inside his head at the time of exams is completely alien to me. 




Ra one: OHH  how  can i miss this :p
People and there Love to pull SRK down.Even before the movie got released there was a lot of negativity for the movie which baffles me.
I was amazed to observe how random people on FB were totally clued into the business prospects of the SRK starrer. Not just that they are glad to share the innumerable jokes around Ra.One which have been making rounds of internet and SMSs.  Arey Problem kya hai Yaar. If a film is perfect then no amount of negativity can really bring it down. However, this hasn't really been the case with Ra One which does have its own flaws.
But at the end of the day despite all the odds movies fared well and managed to earn decently at the box office.


Signing off Now. Have my paper at 2 in the afternoon. Have a Great Day ahead.
Tadaaa !!!